Jerkcity

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· Where are we today?
· Early Screen Test For Role Of Pants
· jerkcity.MP4
· HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM JERKCITY
· Cock Vegas - Early Preview
· Jerkcity The Series: Episode Two
· HOLY CRAP I'M ON THE JERKCITY WEBSITE
· THE JERK CITY SHOEW - EPISODE fuck you
· 2907
· NEXT ON SPIGOT THE BEAR: EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL CHANGE
· Jerkcity The Series: Episode One
· The Jerkcity Shoew - Episode 6
· JERKCITY IN A WINDOWS 98 COMMERCIAL
· The Jerkcity Shoew - Episode 5
· Willing to Jerk
· God Bless Merica
· TOO MANY PANTS
· JERK CITY SHOEW MAKES IT'S TRIUMPHANT RETURN
· The Jerkcity Shoew - Episode 4
· The Jerkcity Shoew - Episode 3
· The Jerkcity Shoew - Episode 2
· The Jerkcity Shoew - Episode 1
· Chinese Food
· Spigot Goes To The Beach
· Spigot in space
· Manhood
· Jerkcity iz trollin U
· Part of a Balanced Breakfast
· One At A Time
· Pie is Good
· Picking Up The Telephone
· A Simple Plan
· Smell Test
· Self Esteem
· SPACE JERKIN'
· All Jerkcity episodes
· a totally non-homosexual video
· unfunny sand canyon vidoe
· boredom
· hitler+jc forever
· YES I WENT THERE
· JERKCITY TURBOCYCLE
· THE WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW
· Another thrilling episode of Jerkcity theatre
· FUNNY JERKCITY JOEKZ
· The Fitness System

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COSMOS REBOOT

Rands
Protecting Yourself from Heartbleed

"Slurping and drooling and hurrrr."
  -- OFFICIAL JERKCITY MOTTO


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Jerkcity FAQ

1. When did Jerkcity first publish?
August 17, 1998.
2. Who created Jerkcity?
Rands.
3. Who is involved in producing Jerkcity?
A crew of eight (8) people, scattered all over the world, are responsible for taking care of Jerkcity. Tasks include publishing new strips, webmastering, bot wrangling, network management, writing software, database administration, backups and writing shit like this. In particular, Rotten.com has donated a ridiculous amount of bandwidth and linkage.
4. What application is used to make Jerkcity?
Microsoft Comic Chat, a comic-strip based Internet Relay Chat client released by Microsoft in 1996. To mess around with comic chat, you will need access to an RFC-1459 compliant server.
5. Who created the characters and backgrounds for Microsoft Comic Chat?
Jim Woodring.
6. When was the Jerkcity book published?
The Big Book of Jerkcity (ISBN 0-966-33118-4) was released on April 20, 2003. See: Archived press release
7. Where can I get the Jerkcity book?
The book is out of print: The Big Book of Jerkcity was a limited edition, only two-hundred copies were made. An updated glossary from the book is available.
8. How can I contact...
rands? Rands in Repose

spigot? Leisure Town

deuce? Fictional creature. See instead: DEUCE'S WEBLOG

pants? Fictional creature (nobody could smoke that much pot)

ozone? Probably fictional.

..the Production Team? production at jerkcity dot com

..the webmaster? jerkcity at gmail dot com
9. What time/channel is Spigot the Bear on?
Check your local listings for times.
10. Is Jerkcity made "live"?
No. Material is culled from a database (JERKBASE/1) or otherwise arrives from contributors. Strips are generally made 2-3 weeks in advance. See the schedule for a list of upcoming episodes.
11. How long does it take to create a Jerkcity strip?
Anywhere from 1-10 minutes depending on how fussy one gets with facial expressions and backgrounds. Jerkcity is generated by harnessing a pack of bots named for the characters and watching the play unfold from a Microsoft Comic Chat client. The "scene" can be played again and again until the desired effect occurs, whatever that is. After making a screenshot, custom software takes care of the rest.
12. Why isn't the Jerkcity Dialog XML file complete?
It just isn't.
13. Can I download Jerkcity for offline viewing?
Yes. See: Jerkcity Mirror
14. How can I integrate software or services with Jerkcity?
For various data files and RSS feeds see: Toys

The latest episode is always available at this URL: Linking to Jerkcity by number (replace 666 with desired episode): Linking to a strip by number (replace 666 with desired episode): A text file map of numbers and titles: export.txt

Current episode number: high.txt

The Search Engine accepts one argument, q for a CGI-encoded query. Examples: HTML tags for search engine form:

<form action="http://www.jerkcity.com/search/index.cgi" method="post">
<input type=hidden name=m value=32>
<input type=hidden name=gayness value=yup>
Search Jerkcity: <input type=text name=q maxlength=64 size=16 value="">
<input type=submit value="Go">
<form>
15. Why isn't Jerkcity released with a Creative Commons license?
Lazy.
16. How long can Jerkcity go on?
Jerkcity is a very long story but it does have an ending.
17. When will Jerkcity end?
Sometime in 2026. However, this date moves forward as new material is generated.
18. Why has Jerkcity been so openly hostile to Wikipedia?
Because Wikipedia sucks.
19. What fonts does Jerkcity use?
Comic Sans, of course. Praise be unto Microsoft for releasing this wonderful typeface. Any adult who cannot appreciate the awesome beauty that is Comic Sans should promply commit suicide without even a "Goodbye World" blog entry. We also use Verdana.
20. Is Jerkcity related to... ASCII Art Farts? Leisure Town? Viscera? Rands in Repose? Rotten.com?
No. No. No. Yes. No.
21. Why does Jerkcity's About Page say not to feed deuce? He looks hungry!
If you feed him, he grows stronger. Eventually he will overpower and eat you.
22. How do I know when to stop struggling?
When you can't feel your legs anymore.
23. Why show (moist) cupcakes sometimes but not every day?
Tax purposes.
24. Does Jerkcity have a mailing list?
No. There was a Jerkcity mailing list around the year 2000 but it was too strange and had to be put down.
25. Who are the people in Untitled Gardening Project?
You've seen them around, they are part of a commercial clip art collection.
26. How to cite items in this FAQ?
Like so using corresponding question numbers: http://www.jerkcity.com/faq.html#26
27. What did Jerkcity look like in 1998?
Sort of like this.
28. Is the Jerkcity Restaurant real?
Yes! Said eatery's website went off-the-air in 2003 so we took up the slack.
29. What is a DJ RAPEKIT?
Gloves, rope, tire iron, Taser, pepper spray, handgun, ski mask, your punching fists, condoms, bottle opener and duct tape. You'll know what the bottle opener is for when the time comes.
30. How can I submit my audio to Jerkcity?
To submit your work, send your original material in mp3 form to jerkcity at gmail dot com. Be sure to include a song title, your name (or band name), URL (if any), a script (strip dialog) and your permission slip. Watch your levels.
31. How can I submit backgrounds, comic chat characters or my own Jerkcity strips?
jerkcity at gmail dot com
32. Is it true Jerkcity sends postcards through the U.S. Mail to anybody who asks for one?
Not just anybody. You must be pure of heart.

Ask about your postcard here: jerkcity at gmail dot com

Note: This is the same design mailed out around the turn of the century, no new postcards have been printed since.
33. Are the Jerkcity characters aware of the audience?
More or less.
34. What about... The Big Book of Jerkcity #2? Reprints of #1? The Jerkcity Big Book of Poetry? Jerkcity Cookbook? Those t-shirts rands talked about? Jerkcity Big Book of Plays? Jerkcity comic book? A prequel to Big Faggoty Dick?
No. Yes as a free digital release. No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes.
35. When did...
...deuce and rands first appear? Jerkcity #1 August 17, 1998

...pants first appear? Jerkcity #2 August 18, 1998

...spigot first appear? Jerkcity #3 August 19, 1998

...atandt first appear? Jerkcity #42 October 6, 1999

...net first appear? Jerkcity #150 March 11, 1999

...bung first appear? Jerkcity #185 April 10, 1999
36. Why were pants and deuce absent during the Summer of 2006?
They were detained by the government but later returned.
37. How did Wikipedia's admins get so fat anyway?
Food issues.
38. Do these questions really get asked frequently?
Some of them do.
39. What is the CAPS LOCK key for?
The CAPS LOCK key is the most important key on the keyboard. Without this key, attempts to type might result in lowercase. While the shift key can also be used, this is an unacceptable solution as it must be held down while typing. Uppercase is not shouting, this is a myth perpetuated by housewives and sex offenders.
40. Where are the Jerkcity forums?
See: LiveJournal.

See also: UseNET newsgroup alt.fan.jerkcity
41. How much traffic does Jerkcity get?
As of August 2006, www.jerkcity.com gets about 6,000 to 10,000 visitors per day. Summer months are as low as 200,000 visitors per month, average is about 250,000. This works out to about 2-3GB/day of bandwidth.

Most referrals come from:
Rotten.com

Most popular search query: Pot Brownie Recipe
42. What does Jerkcity's motto mean?
The phrase "Slurping and drooling and hurrrr." describes the distance between Jerkcity and your fat fucking face.
43. NOT EVEN A HANDI-WIPE???? ??????//
LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES