9-Jan Suck And Fuck
21-Feb Brian Peppers Day (b. 1968)
20-Apr Hitler's Birthday (b. 1889)
21-May Smooth Buddy Week begins
2-Aug Prickalino particle discovered (1999)
17-Aug Jerkcity Begins (1998)
2-Sep Cupcake Day 
11-Sep Patriot Day
2-Oct Ass Day (observed)
29-Oct Annual Report 
11-Nov Bullfrog-Humping Sunday (Canada)
25-Dec Xmas (optional holiday, skeleton crew required)